Am I racist for noticing my white students?

It is my goal as an educator to create a safe classroom environment that is sustained through mutual respect. This can be tricky as a new teacher that is almost daily mistaken for another student. This is not a foreign concept to many new young teachers, but poorly executed it can lead to ineffective leadership and a lack of control by the teacher in a classroom of 40 young adults. To note, I am also sometimes mistaken for the instructional aid, the secretary, an AVID tutor the translator, or a member of our local community college partnership program. Once others realize I am the school's physics teacher, their body language reads completely differently and 9 out of 10 it reads visible shock.

If I'm seeing this type of reaction in adults that I work with, then I wonder how much are my students accepting that I, a 5'4" twenty-something woman of color, am their teacher? And if a racial bias exists, what implications does that have on my practice, and more importantly, how to I talk about it with other teachers?

That there are many ways to talk about students of color in the classroom so that race is never mentioned. I can refer to my students of color as English Learners, socioeconomically disadvantaged, first-generation, immigrant, low-income, underprivileged. I find that these are sterile, non-threatening ways to talk about their performance in school. What I've found challenging during my first years as a teacher are equally appropriate ways to talk about white students in my classroom. If I am seeing a pattern of behavior in my classroom among the majority of my English Learners, there are resources I can tap into that allow to be be thoughtful about how I can connect with them. If I'm seeing a pattern of behavior among the majority of my white students, where do I go from there? Who can I turn to honestly and say "I think some of my white students are racist and I need help figuring this out."

I've explained in a previous post that when I walk into a room, my race and gender are the first to speak. In order to achieve the level of privilege I have now (college education, steady profession, middle income, mastery of dominant English), I've learned to navigate a subtle system of racism and sexism. I've been inspired by posts like this one in the Atlantic where Melinda D. Anderson writes about the importance of having racially diversity among teaching staff in part so that white students may be exposed to a person of color in a white that confronts their own racial biases. Several stories in this article resonated with me in a way that made me feel my experiences were validated. For example, 

While [Juanita] Douglas recognizes their need to connect, she stresses that “I’m not black and cool … their image of black”—an image influenced by pop culture and rap music. “I’m black and a teacher.”

What image may my students have about Latina women? What roles do Latina women take on? Cleaning houses? Dancing Spanish television? Mothers? I highly doubt they are in positions of power such as politicians, administrators, CEOs, or even scientists. 

Here's another story from the article that pushes on this idea race and gender intersect with the practice of teaching and learning. 

“If they come into the class feeling black people are dumb, that’s not going to survive contact with me or my black students for very long anyway,” he said. “I want [white students] to know that we work hard—[that we have] intellectual curiosity.” In his day-to-day dealings with students, Kay also fights the widespread, centuries-old narrative that black men are driven by anger and frustration. “I am affectionate and caring … I think it’s important that [the students] see we have the capacity to love.”

I love my job because I get to connect with young pople and watch them grow. When I build connections with my students I feel like I am a more effective teacher. But I feel strongly that part of improving my practice must include having an honest reflection of how my race and the race of my students impacts their learning.